LONDON - Urged on by the BNP and other right wing elements, Britain has declared war on its former WWII ally on the basis of remarks by American UFO author Don Ecker. Prime Minister and Labour Party leader Gordon Brown commented, "Although Bishop Bonkers is a twit, we cannot permit free reign to insults against England's eccentrics. We feel military action is justified to halt this American aggression."Former police detective Ecker used various cyberspace blogs to characterize vampire-hunting authors Bishop Bonkers and David Farrant as effeminate "Nancy Boys", and said that "guys like Bonkers who try and cash in on vampires through books and talk shows are just reprehensible."
A detachment of Royal Marines commandos is reportedly mustering at the Royal Oak pub in expectation of deployment to the US.
3 comments:
To: John Baldry's Cat
Dear Sir,
It came as quite a shock to see that the United Kingdom was declaring war on we Americans because of editorial opinions I scribbled concerning the esteemed Bishop Bonkers and Mr. David Farrant, Esq. Perhaps "Nancy Boys" might be over the top ... but then I call it as I see it!
Be warned, I have called all my old Nam' buddies and placed them on alert. Granted, we are all in the process of turning into "codgers" but most of us can still drain a beer with the best of them! Also be warned, if I do sign a "Peace Treaty" with Bonkers, all those Limey Commandos might be faced with confronting the "dreaded undead!" To the best of my understanding, the "undead" don't drink ......... beer!
Sincerely;
Don Ecker
Ex-cop, Former police investigator, Vampire Author, UFO Expert and "Problem Solver."
Because of my disposition as a 'white witch', I would obviously have to be a conscientious objector. But I am sure Bonky would love to lead a marine core: especially with the ‘reward’ of getting even with Don Ecker!
But you know, there might be another way of avoiding full-scale war with our American cousins. Seriously! All the British Government has to do is arrange a private duel (‘to the death’) between Bonky and Don. Choice of weapons would obviously have to go to Don, of course being the aggrieved party.
Well that would be one sure way of getting rid of Bonky and keeping world peace!
David Farrant
What's all this about calling me a 'nancy boy' as well Don? I've only just seen that!
I'll have you know, I'm completely 'straight'.
Though I have to admit, I sometimes wish I was a 'nancy boy'. I could have avoided all the problems I seem to have with women!
David
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