Crumpet Men

One might say our two protagonists have both laboured a lifetime to become Men Of Substance. Indeed, one now styles himself as a "Man Of Holy Orders", the other, a "Psychic Researcher". But back in the 1960s, each was what could be politely termed a "Crumpet Man".

Daily, these two Young Turks pursued the cream of British Womanhood from pillar to post and expended no small amount of vigor in doing so. David was a natural, and the girls lined up for his attentions, sometimes two or three a night. But poor, gormless Bonky had a harder time of it. "Just be yourself" counseled his mates. But Bonky's own self had no appeal to the opposite sex. One day, quite by accident, he hit upon the winning formula. He told a bird he was descended from Lord Byron. The young girl's knickers practically flew off. The seed was planted (in more ways than one!) and from then on, he took on persona after persona, leaving his old self far behind.