In an attempt to address burgeoning internet rumours that he dyes his hair, former "White Witch" David Farrant underwent a voluntary examination at the laboratories of the Royal Society this week. "After analysing a sample of Mr. Farrant's hair under 200-times magnification," said an unnamed expert, "I must conclude it is not artificially dyed. However we did find high trace amounts of Tesco beer, tobacco, dried prunes, and cheap French perfume -- which could account for its rather odd colouring"
Monday, September 21, 2009
Farrant Has His Head Examined
In an attempt to address burgeoning internet rumours that he dyes his hair, former "White Witch" David Farrant underwent a voluntary examination at the laboratories of the Royal Society this week. "After analysing a sample of Mr. Farrant's hair under 200-times magnification," said an unnamed expert, "I must conclude it is not artificially dyed. However we did find high trace amounts of Tesco beer, tobacco, dried prunes, and cheap French perfume -- which could account for its rather odd colouring"
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10 comments:
Thanks Cat!
David Farrant
yeah, former "white witch" with "white hair" dyed brassy brownish-orangish
c'mon daaave.....your right though...its spreading like wild fire across the internet, even by word of mouth...a few "acquaintances" that have also questioned that head of yours...we talked over coffee and the one bleaches her head so white blond if I lit a match she'd go up in seconds....wonder how fast you'd go up...did you know that "dyed" hair is VERY flammable ?
how've you been ?
DAaaave....
could you please send me a very small swatch of that hair of yours, for double verification ??
my iranian girl-friend (who thinks YOU are a trip) said she could do lab tests at her hospital lab and discuss results with the head pathologist; she's the one who suggested it, because she dyes her hair really dark to cover the large silver streak she has and she says your head is "dyed".
F____ post the actual written summary of your hair test results; actually photo-scan it and put it up here so everyone can see who-what where etc, location and clinician.
Are you going to meet with BSM and Dennis Crawford ?
I'm contacting a good university in or near London and asking them to host a debate and or a "roast" for you and I....are you up for that ?
Foul language will be out of the question--so you already have one up on me....how 'bout it ?
You never responded the last time I inquired ...
I can do better than that Carol. Get somebody (and I mean a qualified person) from the University in London to meet me at an arranged metro station, and I will give them a lock of my hair to send to you.
In fact, I actually spare two, then you could keep one on your mantlepiece!
I am really not joking. If it will prove how delusional Bonky really is, I will do that.
Just give me your email and I will give a phone number so that your friend can contact me.
Well Carol?
David Farrant
actually dave.......... I was thnkin'here....now, you said you went to a lab or something at the Royal Society for Hair Analysis; instead of making such elaborate plans to donate a swatch, why don't you please just scan and post results here and forward copy to me via email or I'll give you a fax for Kinko's and you can get it to me that way ok, dear ?
it's not really the actual "hair" I need--its the RESULTS.
And how are things ?? I see you are all over this great web; is there ANYWHERE you "aren't" ? you are on facebook, why, you're my next door neighbor, neighbor...
If, as you say, you actually got hair analysis results from the Royal Academy...then this should be simple
by the way your good friend Trystan wanted me to "prove" that demonology and etc, etc...can't be proved by science--via one hundred thousand emails (never-ending)...were you aware of that ??
so, are going for another interview ?
and where's cousin Hogg, s'pose he's tending to the pen....and the piggies...
so.....daaaaave....where are you, as pertains to the world wide web...??
I'm gonna go look up Hogg at his DAWWIH, or whatever that acronym is..
Carol,
I never said I had had my hair analayed. I have not. Why should I? Just to prove to myself that I don't dye my hair when I know U don't!
YOU were the one who said you had a technician friend who could analayse it.
I took up your offer and invited you to arrange for him/her to come and pick a hair sample up. So please stop 'turning it around'.
Could it be that you are aware such an analysis would prove Bonky and yourself to be a couple of liars?
David Farrant
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