Open Wrestling Ring

IN THE RED TRUNKS: weighing in at 9 stone, the Mauler from Muswell Hill, David Farrant.

IN THE BLUE TRUNKS: weight unknown, standing in for Sean Manchester, the Masked Marvel from the Internet, Demonologist.

RULES: submit convincing evidence your opponent is a fraud and liar. Limit is... NO LIMIT! The match goes on...100 posts...200 posts...300 posts...until the last man standing is declared.

(Bell sound): DING!

Armi Of Socks Prefer Cat's Blog

Bonky alter egos Arminius Vámbéry/Demonologist/Vampirologist prefer The Cat's Miaow blog 2 to 1 over such forums as Net Knickers Lurkers and Dark Natterings. "I...erm...we have found a home here," said the puppetmastering prelate, "The others ask too many questions. The Cat's Miaow is funny and intelligently written. It's a great spot to spar with David on neutral ground. Well, as neutral as can be hoped. They're all in league with Farrant you know."

Farrant to Model for Trench Coat Adverts

LONDON - Famous clothing maker Burberry has contracted ex-vampire-hunter David Farrant to appear in ads for a line of clothing based on his signature trench coat. A company spokesperson said, "Mr. Farrant's choice of outerwear represents a unique celebration of the rich Burberry heritage" adding, "It was either him or Frank Spencer."

Farrant Rates Women of the World

-- French sexpots get high marks

"American women tend to be far more outspoken than English girls" says Highgate heartthrob David Farrant. When asked his opinion of the stereotypical English Rose, he confessed that, "I am wary of girls who are so ’sweet and sugary’ as it often turns out they have a ‘mean streak’ inside." Not surprisingly, he admits a weakness for females from La Belle France: "French girls are less artificial than English and American girls. They enjoy good food -- and they enjoy good sex."

Lads: 200 comments per page is the Blogspot limit, so you must now scroll to the bottom of the 200th and click on "newest" to view the most recent posts to this topic. Enjoy.

Green: "I will sacrifice cat on BBC1"

Occult authoress Barbara Green has announced she will sacrifice a cat atop a Queen Anne dressing table during an upcoming episode of BBC1's Bargain Hunt. "Forsooth, I am reduced to this," said the ambitious Yorkshirewoman, "on account of it's been a donkeys age since I got any publicity, dickipoggy or otherwise." Sources inside the show say that Ms. Green does not actually intend to harm the cat, she will merely make it rather uncomfortable via a tedious retelling of the Robin Hood legend.

"Farrant's Foot Possessed" Says Bishop

Bishop Bonkers recently commented on his arch rival David Farrant's well-known foot troubles, saying, "It won't do him any good soaking the bloody thing in vinegar. Satan's got hold of it, and it's wanting an exorcism. Probably suffering from a demonic boil. At the very least I'd offer to lance it."

Comically Accurate

We'll Try Anything (Once)

In the interests of less hysterical and more civil communication with the bishop, we thought we'd try a brand new approach here on The Cat's Miaow: go along with it. We'll actually kneel down, make the sign of the cross, and use his title when addressing him. So here goes. First question:

Your Holiness, when you say David Farrant is possessed by demons, which demons specifically? Are they little red devils with pitchforks? Or satanic-looking imps? And how do they manifest?

In the name of the father, son and holy ghost, amen.

PS: What about that Gothic Press shipping label, your Holiness? And the absence of documentation for your KCMG?

Dominus Vobiscum.