David & Bonky Mix It Up...Sort Of

'Terrible Two' Separated
Andrew Gough's Arcadia forum was the place to be this weekend as David Farrant was forcefully ejected from a thread containing the Bishop. "This forum thread is big enough for one vampire hunter and one vampire hunter only" said Gough after putting up a "reserved" sign that excluded Farrant from the discussion. "I don't really mind letting him have that thread to himself," commented Farrant, "but I would first wish him to answer the question of how he was able to publish a photo of a 'blood-sucking vampire' especially since they supposedly cast no shadow nor any reflection."

A Chance Meeting
However the feuding pair were eventually destined to clash in public, caught on surveillance camera late Sunday evening as they shopped for wine in the aisles of a London off-licence. A partial transcript of the surveillance tape audio:

Bishop: "YOU again? Must you follow me EVERYWHERE you (unintelligible) obsessive (unintelligible)?"
Farrant: "ME? I'm just here for a bottle of wine. YOU'RE the one who's obsessed, (unintelligible)!"
Bishop: "Keep to your own aisle, (unintelligible) or I'll (unintelligible) (unintelligible) solicitor (unintelligible)!"
Farrant: "I'll stand in ANY aisle I PLEASE, (unintelligible) prat (unintelligible) bell end (unintelligible)!"

Unequal Impressions
The two went on to make separate but unequal impressions in Andrew Gough's Arcadia Forum. By late Monday, it was clear the Battling Bishop had mired himself in matters of protocol, pedantry, and imagined slights. By contrast, Farrant drew a number of gently abstract questions about "life" from the women of the forum, many of whom posted images of small, pink hearts and wished him Godspeed. "Farrant's a witch I tells ye," angrily remarked one of the Bishop's supporters, "e' put the Devil's charm on them wimmin, and e' cast a spell on Gough's forum, that's no error, no zur!"